The struggle is real, y’all.

What I want to do:

I am a creative woman. I love finding or writing just the right words to go with just the right image. I am a decent photographer, a wanna-be painter, and a pretty good digital artist. Creative endeavors fuel me and make me happy.

But they take time. And right now, even thought I know I need to take the time for my own sanity, I feel guilty about the things that get neglected when I indulge my want-tos instead of dealing with the have-tos.

I also want to read something for fun. Something pithy. But I digress.

What I’m doing:

Fitness is important, right? So, instead of creating, I’m at least getting out and lifting weights, running, and eating right (most of the time anyway).

But, I still feel guilty. The have-tos still linger on my mind, but by the time I sit down to do them, my mind shuts down and my body suggests a nap. Especially if there’s a good thunderstorm under way.

I am going to work and being productive there for 3 hours a day, so it’s not totally about me, but still…

What I should be doing:

1. Writing about DigPed. I have a ton of notes, but they aren’t jumping from the paper to the screen.
2. Preparing for an NCTE presentation. I submitted it as a lark, never dreaming it would be accepted. Oops.
3. Working on a presentation for LRA. This one is a group project, so I don’t have to sweat this one. Too much.
4. Writing about writing — handwriting vs. typing. I said I would, but I haven’t yet.
5. Cleaning house. Ugh.
6. Writing about arts and writing and how the digital interface can be a tool to accomplish both.
7. Purging stuff — I have a box to fill for a friend in Ukraine, a boatload of clothes to donate, an art room and workshop that need to be cleared.
8. Reading Eisner and Hicks and Cormier and Kress and and and — like a diligent PhD student should.

Seriously.

What I’m going to do about it:

I have options.

1. Create and feel guilty.
2. Workout, create and feel guilty.
3. Stare at Twitter, Medium, and Facebook and feel both guilty and depressed.
4. Pretend the have-tos are really want-tos.

I need a nap.